I'm sorry, I know it's the second cheaty kind of entry in a row, but I can't resist these things.

(Courtesy of Athena, Melissa, Eliza, Elle, David...)

1. Are you an innie or an outie?
2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
Not on purpose, no.
3. Have you ever written a song?
Nope. Nine years of piano lessons, and I never wrote a single thing. (That's kind of sad, now that I think about it.)
4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?
Yes. Needing quarters to wash your clothes will do that to you.
5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
Oh my god, totally by accident. I was walking home from class at college one time, and needed to pee like a mofo. I stopped in the Military Science building (where I had never been before) and madly dashed into what I thought was the women's bathroom. I was just finishing up when I heard the outer door open and saw two very male shoes walk up next to my stall and start peeing. I didn't even see the urinal on my way in. It was horrifying.
6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?
Well, yes. Wouldn't the more interesting question be if you've ever smelled anyone else's?
7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your french fries?
Beside, only beside. On is gross.
8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Not even close. (Now that I'm testing it, I can barely get it over my upper lip.)
9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
I know I was a Brownie, but I can't remember if I actually made it to Girl Scout. I have a vague recollection of a green uniform, so I guess so.
10. Have you ever broken a mirror?
Yes. I dropped a full-length one outside my apartment in college once.
11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
12. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Only because it happened twice to me today: I hate it when people do not let you get off the elevator before they get on. Rude, rude, rude.
13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
No. And anyway, if it's gone, how is there anything left to slurp?
14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
But of course.
15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Whopper, for sure. Though Wendy's is my favorite national chain fast food.
16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
Oh, that's funny. No.
17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
I actually don't ask. I am asked if plastic is okay, though, and I say yes. (As Athena pointed out, they are excellent for scooping poop, though the poop I scoop is feline, not canine.)
18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
True. I am from Kansas, after all. Beef.
19. Did you have a baby blanket?
Yes. I called it my map. (Nothing to do with cartography, it's just the nickname my three-year-old brain came up with.)
20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
Oh yes. You should see my first grade yearbook photo. My best friend up the street and I decided to play beauty parlor the day before.
21. Have you ever sleepwalked?
22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
23. Can you flip your eyelids up?
No. Gross.
24. Are you double jointed?
I don't think so. Is there a test?
25. If you could be any age, what age would you be?
The sign of true happiness is being content at whatever age you are. I'm only 30 for two more weeks, but it's been good to me. I'd stick with it.
26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
I'm sure that I have, but I can't remember one specific incident.
27. Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
Oh no. I threw up on a roller coaster ride, in high school. One of those octopus ones. Booted popcorn all over myself.
28. What is your dream car?
I finally saw a Mini Cooper on the road last weekend, and I must admit, I am in love.
29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
The Animaniacs. I will never forget the first time I ever saw Yakko sing the countries of the world. I laughed so hard I couldn't catch my breath for days.
30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
Oh, probably. I don't get too wigged about that kind of thing.
31. There was no question #31!

32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?

33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
Try to find a good radion station? (Um, hello? What is the point of this question?)
34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
No. I have called for one before.
35. Can you pick something up with your toes?
I think so.
36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?
Five. A single woman, living alone, and I have five. Cable box, VCR, DVD, and two televisions.
37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
Yes, 12th grade English class while watching Laurence Olivier's Hamlet. That whole head nod thing is torture.
38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
One year ago now? Five round trips. KC to Pennsylvania last December, KC to New Orleans in January, KC to Pennsylvania in April, KC to California in May, and DC to KC in August.
39. How many foreign countries have you visited?
The UK, when I was fifteen, with Elise (hi Elise!), and Russia and Czechoslovakia during my senior year of high school. (Oh, and we changed planes in Canada, does that count?)
40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
No, no, and no - one "no" for each event.
41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
Okay, like anyone is going to say rich and unhappy.
42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
Float, but that's the right answer. If you try to swim, you'll die. Don't say "swim", people!
44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
Yes, in grade school. We used to be able to buy them at the hardware store, for some insane reason.
46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
I'd like to think Alice in Wonderland, as Cinderella annoys me.
47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
Well, you could still do stuff with the crayons, so I'll take them.
48. Do you prefer light or dark bread?
Light. Sometimes I think I could never eat any kind of bread except ciabatta for the rest of my life and be perfectly content.
49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
Scrambled, though I do like both. (Just like Athena, I must have toast for the fried eggs.)
50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
That is one car-related trauma I have never experienced, knock on wood.
51. Do you talk in your sleep?
I don't think so, but how would I know?
52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
Mow the lawn, definitely. Shoveling snow is about the worst activity you could possibly do with a herniated disc in your lumbar region. A recipe for disaster, that is.
53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
Ew! Bitten.
54. Have you ever played in the rain?
Yes! The last time I consciously did it was in college. (I love rain. I'd play in it all the time if I had someone to play with. Alone, I'm pretty sure someone would call for the men in white coats.)
55. Which do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
Shudder, shudder. I suppose the bear.
56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
No. I'd try to catch it if it fell, though, does that count?
57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
I know one has a long, skinny snout and one has a shorter, rounded one, but I don't know which has which.
58. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke?
Coke, in all departments, regular, diet, flavored, whatever, I will always pick Coke over Pepsi. There is no Pepsi product that I don't loathe.
59. What's your favorite number?
27. I have no idea why. It just is, always has been.
60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
SUV. Sports cars make me insane.
61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
If I was the only one at it, yes.
63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
Not to the point where I actually injured myself, but I'm sure I have.
64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
I have no idea! Right now I'm using Suave's Frosted Cranberry body wash. (It's part of their holiday collection. Whatever. I'm a sucker for body washes.)
65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
Actually, no. I lock myself out of my car all the time, though.
66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
Huh? The Simpsons. Who wants to be a singing cowboy?
67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Eddie Izzard. (He qualifies, right? He's been in movies! He has!)
68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
Yes, my brother and I used to do this all the time on our summer vacations.
69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes?
The nose.
70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?
71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?
Probably. I'm nice that way.
72. Have you ever returned a gift?
73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
You bet. I have no problem regifting.
74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
Winter, ice skating, men's, women's, pairs. (No goofy ice dancing.) Summer, diving.
75. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Probably 30, but I only wear about five on a regular basis.
76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
Not in a million years. Who would say yes to this question?
77. Do you sing in the car?
Yes, all the time. I can barely stand to be in the car and not be singing. It's ridiculous for someone my age, but there you go.
78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
Honey, no question. I have a thing about dumpsters, one of those bizarre childhood associations that stay with you for life. It's too stupid to explain, but I'd rather do almost anything else than be anywhere near a dumpster.
79. What is your favorite breed of dog?
The Australian Shepherd, though I would probably never own one, unless I somehow ended up on a farm. They're too smart and too active to be cooped up in an apartment, or even a fenced yard.
80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
Probably not. Please don't call PETA on me, I certainly don't believe in being cruel to animals, and I'm all about rescues and shelters and everything, but as long as there are starving people, I'd want them to have my money first. If there's any left over once everyone's been fed, we can worry about the animals.
81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
Mountain bike. (Er, I don't know what a stingray is.)
82. What is your least favorite fruit?
Any type of melon. Watermelon, canteloupe, whatever, I can't stand melon.
83. What kind of fruit have you never had?
I don't believe I have ever in my life eaten a peach.
84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?
Amazon. (Just enough for the Segway! Woo!)
85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?
Ha. You're assuming I wear sports apparel.
86. Are/were you a good student?
Please. Years of therapy, this question still makes me shudder. Pass.
87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?
No one. I don't think I've ever won an arm wrestling match in my life.
88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
The Navy, I suppose. We just watched A Few Good Men over Thanksgiving, and if both Tom Cruise and Kevin Bacon were actually in the JAG Corps, I'd probably sign up.
89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
I don't think so. I'm not one of those people for whom the rush would be worth the risk.
90. What do you think is your best feature?
See answer to #86.
91. If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
Anything but country. Or rap.
92. What is your favorite season?
Winter. I absolutely love winter. We trudged about six blocks through snow and slush to lunch today in Georgetown, and everyone was complaining except me. I loved every step.
93. How many members do you have in your immediate family?
Five. My mother, my father, my brother, my sister-in-law, me.
94. Which of the five senses is most important to you?
95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Singer. Unless I could pull off being an abstract painter, but I think my life would have to get a lot more tortured.
97. How many years will/did you end up going to college?
Four and a half, plus one correspondence course for the last three credits.
98. Have you ever had surgery?
Does dental surgery count? I had my twelve-year molars removed. Other than that, no, I've never been cut open.
99. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
This is a dumb question. This question might as well be: Are you a woman or a man?
100. What do you like to collect?
Around Christmas, I collect brunette angels. The vast majority of angels you see have blonde hair, and one year I got kind of bitter about that, so now I collect brown-haired ones.

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