friday...18 february...2000


Whew. Not the greatest week of my life. As a matter of fact, it's been one of the worst.

For those of you not on the mailing list, remember in the last entry when I talked about taking my cat to the vet, and how she had to stay, and it was stressing me out?

Well.

The vet at the place here, Dr. Richards, was incredibly nice. She kept me thoroughly updated on Sukie's condition, which wasn't getting better. Her creatonin levels, which indicate kidney malfunctioning, were sky high, and the swelling in her right kidney was not going down. They also tested her urine to see what kind of stones they were, and they were not the kind that could be dissolved with diet.

On Tuesday morning, Dr. Richards called and said that she would need surgery, and sooner rather than later. She made all kinds of phone calls on my behalf, trying to find a facility that could get her in that day. She found one for me in Annapolis, Maryland, about two hours away from me.

I picked up my poor little cat and drove her to Annapolis on Tuesday afternoon. I waited there while they did an ultrasound, which showed that the kidney has not only been blocked but there's also some kind of mass on it. They needed to operate, but they weren't sure whether or not the other kidney was working properly. They wanted to give her a contrast dye test to check, before they went ahead with surgery that would do her no good if her remaining kidney wasn't working either.

They did the test, got a good result, and she went into surgery Wednesday afternoon. They wanted to just go in and remove the stones, but they were prepared to take out the kidney if the damage was too extensive.

The kidney came out, all goopy and ugly and quite destroyed.

I checked in on Thursday morning. Her creatonin levels had gone down a little, but she wasn't out of the woods. It was going to take at least 24 hours after surgery for them to tell whether or not her renal system really was going to start working normally.

They kept testing her blood, things were slowly getting better, but they decided to give her a blood transfusion, just to strengthen her and help her system clear up faster.

The surgeon brought in her own cat as a donor. Veterinarians are wonderful people.

I last spoke to the surgeon this evening, and she said that if Sukie keeps progressing overnight as she has been since the surgery, I'll be able to bring her home tomorrow.

It has truly been the longest, hardest week of my life. As if all this wasn't enough, I had to bail on my long-awaited weekend in New York with Colleen, Melissa, and Kate. But they've promised to call and keep me updated on their hijinks, and they know I'll be there in spirit.


However, there's another part to this story, something I realize now I brought on myself, by being rather stupid and not a little immature.

See, I don't have a hundred dollars to spare, much less the couple thousand all this has cost. In all the transactions regarding this situation, I have presented the credit card I have from my parents.

I didn't out and out tell them this. I didn't really think to mention it, since they know I'm completely broke, I figured they would just know that I was using their card to pay for all of this, with the expectation that the expenses would be added to the loan I've been getting from them throughout my law school career.

I was a little wrong about that.

They went ballistic when they heard how much all this had cost. They are not pet people, and they think it's completely insane to spend this much on a cat.

No matter what I say, I can't make them understand that I did not have a choice in this. When I first realized that this wasn't just a bug, I thought I'd be able to fix a number in my head, an amount that would be just too much to be worth it. But I couldn't. I just couldn't give up on her so easily. She's only five years old, barely a third of her life expectancy. I just couldn't not do everything I could to save her.

They don't understand this. I counted on the fact that even though they wouldn't agree with what I did, they would understand that I felt I had to, add the total to my loan, and be done with it.

They told me I took advantage of them, and in hindsight, that's true. I know they can afford to pay the bill without a problem. I should have asked them ahead of time, and I may have been able to talk them into letting me add this expense to my loan.

In trying to make them understand why I did this, I told them that even if they had said no, if they had not allowed me to use their card to pay for all of this, I would have found some other way. The facility in Annapolis doesn't allow payment plans. I would have found a different facility.

They still think I'm insane. Elise called to check up on the cat while I was in the middle of this horrible discussion with my parents, and she told me what turned out to be the truth: that it was basically sticker shock. They were surprised at how much it was, and angry that I had done it behind their backs, but once we had worked it out, they'd calm down and it would be okay.

Fortunately, that has proven to be true. We had this discussion Wednesday night. They didn't call me yesterday, but they did today, and everything was okay. A little uncomfortable, but okay. They asked about her, said it was good that I'd be getting her home tomorrow, and generally seem to be over it. They're disappointed in me, I know, and they have a right to be.

I did the right thing the wrong way. They will always think I did the wrong thing in an incredibly irresponsible way. How I did it was wrong, but what I did was not. I can't change their minds about that, but neither can they change mine.

I know she's a cat, but she's also my family, my child. I just couldn't give up on her. Not this soon.


There are two silver linings to this story.

Number one, next week is my mid-winter break, so I'll be able to stay home all week long and help my girl recover.

Number two, it has cemented what I already knew: I have the best friends in the entire world. Particularly when I can't rely on my parents for support, I am so thankful I can turn to my wonderful, pet-loving friends, both "real life" and online, for their thoughts, prayers, and words of support and understanding. They have meant the world to me.

You know who you are. This will probably surprise you, but I don't have the words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart.

I could not have gotten through this without you.