I don't have anything to write about, so let's talk Oscars...

Picture: The only one of these I've actually seen is Seabiscuit, and while I thought it was great and I'm stunned that it didn't get any acting nominations (hello, Chris Cooper?), I think LOTR: Return of the King is a lock.

Director: As is Peter Jackson.

Actor: I still haven't seen Lost in Translation, but I own it. I was at Sam's Club the other day buying a new shmancy combo VCR/DVD player and saw that this movie was out, which I didn't know. I'm sure I'll love it as soon as I have time to watch it, and I'm pretty sure Bill Murray is going to get this. It'd be a career thing, at any rate.

Actress: I'm going with Diane Keaton, even though I haven't seen this movie either. I know the buzz is for Charlize Theron and I'm sure she's an excellent serial killer, but I have this thing which is that I can't stand her, so I can't in all good conscience vote for her.

Supporting Actor: I love Tim Robbins. Lurve him.

Supporting Actress: I think Renee is actually going to win this one. She's been nominated three years in a row and from what I hear (as, again, haven't actually seen the movie), she's fabulous.

Original Screenplay: I'm going with Sofia Coppola. Please, someone get her some decent shoes for the ceremony, okay?

Adapted Screenplay: Brian Helgeland for Mystic River, because he wrote and directed A Knight's Tale and I love that movie unabashedly.

Foreign: The Barbarian Invasions, just because it amused me that a movie from Canada counts as "foreign." Is it in Canadian?

Animated Feature: Finding Nemo. The three of you who voted for the others, you're cute, but come on. This movie should have gotten a best picture nomination, and I'm sure if it had come out before this category was created, it would have.

Cinematography: Master and Commander. Never saw it, but anything with water has to have a pretty talented DP.

Art Direction: I'm going with Girl with a Pearl Earring (which I have actually seen!) because hey, it's about art!

Editing: Return of the King. Because I know as much about editing as 99% of the Academy, and they all still get to vote on stuff like this, so why not?

Costume: Return of the King. I don't know why. I figure it's going to win everything.

Makeup: Pirates of the Caribbean. Again, who knows? They all looked pretty good to me.

Score: Danny Elfman for Big Fish. I'm a big fan of film scores and I love every composer in this category, but Danny Elfman is so freaking cool, so I want him to win.

Song: You Will Be My Ain True Love. I had a hard time with this one, because the Annie Lennox song from LOTR takes my breath away, but this one does too, and I have to vote for Sting every time he's nominated even if he didn't sing it, which he didn't, but he does do some back-up vocals on it for Alison Krauss, and it's gorgeous.

Sound: Seabiscuit. 'Cause, you know, I'm sure it was hard to foley the horseracing.

Sound Editing: Finding Nemo. I have no idea. I love this movie, that's why.

Visual Effects: Return of the King. I'm sure they were good.

Documentary: Capturing the Friedmans. It's the only one I've heard of, and the story is heartbreaking.

Documentary Short: Asylum. I don't know, I like the word.

Live Short: Squash. How can you not vote for something called Squash? It's too fun to say. Squash, squash, squash, squash...

Animated Short: Gone Nutty. Because many times, I feel like I have.

So there you have it, a record of my picks. If I win the pool, I'm keeping the money!

Just kidding. I never even come close. So go enter!

oh, don't we all feel like this sometimes...