Tell me if you would find such a gift to be largely uncool.

For reasons that I can't mention (what can I say, it's a conspiracy) I have found a dyed-in-the-wool X-phile classmate. I mean, I like the show, have one book and two action dolls that were both gifts, read a limited amount of fanfic and the pertinent articles that appear in my Entertainment Weekly. This girl is crazy insane about it, even showed me her official X-Files Fan Club card, but it's cute because she realizes how crazy insane she is.

Anyway, we were chatting about it and she said she bought a tape off the internet that she thought I would enjoy. I watched most of it last night, and it is hysterical.

It has the gag reels for all six seasons (gag reel: a compilation tape of outtakes and other hilarity that is usually shown at the season wrap party), that video Gillian Anderson made for some random electronica group, the Red Shoe Diaries episode that Duchovny did more... WAY more... than narrate, and a video for a song called "David Duchovny, Why Don't You Love Me?" that was made by someone with a lot of connections, because it had everybody from the cast plus a million other people (Brad Pitt, Rosie O'Donnell, George Clooney) lip-synching various parts. (My favorite: Sarah Michelle Gellar wielding a knife and synching along to "I'm gonna kill Scully!").

AND a different ending to the episode "Momento Mori" (Scully decides to leave the hospital and fight her cancer after the death of Penny Northern) where, instead of just hugging Scully and kissing the top of her head, Mulder also pulls back, takes her head in his hands, and plants one on her mouth. Short, sweet, no aftermath, but they obviously decided not to air it, which, of course, was the right decision, because then they couldn't promote the hell out of the one that's happening in November.

The gag reels were quite funny, but the strangest thing was seeing Gillian Anderson smile and laugh so much. She apparently gets the giggles a lot, but she hardly breaks a smile but once a season on the show, so it was like seeing an entirely new actress.

Blather, blather, blather, but of course I'm going to have to buy a copy for myself. I'll post the link here when I know it, in case any of y'all are interested.

A story from last night's Advocacy section that will give you much insight into the kind of lawyer I will be.

I was the defense attorney in the criminal case (stepfather accused of killing baby... lovely, I know). I had just finished doing the direct examination, where of course the guy had nothing to do with the death of the baby that he had been taking care of all morning. However, he had called his next-door neighbor, Jan Arnold, instead of an ambulance when he couldn't wake the baby up.

So my opposing counsel is crossing the defendant. "Is Jan Arnold a doctor?" "No." "Is Jan Arnold a registered nurse?" "No." "Is Jan Arnold a paramedic?" "No." "Is Jan Arnold a physician assistant?"

Now, I need to interrupt this little train of questioning. What a normal person would have done is stand up and say in a mildly patronizing tone, "Your Honor, the defense will stipulate that Jan Arnold has no background in medicine."

But not me. No, sirree. I stand up and quite indignantly say the following:

"Objection, your Honor... there is no end to the list of things that Jan Arnold is not!"

Now, at the time I was making the objection, I did not think about how I was going to say what I wanted to say, and it came out in this gramatically perfect sentence and it was hilarious.

Everybody started laughing, including myself and including the judge, who is an actual judge... one I appeared in front of this summer (although I would never expect him to remember me.) He replied: "I'm going to overrule your objection, but that is the best one I've heard in a long time."

Believe me, I was the highlight of the section last night, and I'm quite proud of that.