Reading: I finished The Curious Incident... in one night. It was extraordinary. If my cousin could write a book, I think he would have written this one. I saw so much of him in it, even though he isn't as high-functioning.

Also, he doesn't really love me anymore. I spent the night at my aunt and uncle's house on my way home from Hilton Head back in July, and he didn't want to have anything to do with me. He used to love me, he wrote me fifteen e-mails a day when I was in law school, asking when he could come and visit me, and every time I saw him, he would hug me so hard I couldn't breathe and he would always sit next to me and make me hold his hand and just giggle at me.

But, no more! Ten minutes after I walked in the door, he asked my aunt when I was leaving. Sigh.

Watching: Tennis, mostly. I was sad when Pete retired, but I'm really going to be morose when Andre does. He's been my boy for like fifteen years. I really, really hope he wins.

So, I went to get my hair cut yesterday. I haven't been back to Luis the Most Fabulous Hairdresser Ever since last December, and it showed. I do have good hair, and Luis even had to compliment himself on how well the cut grew out, but it was at that length that was just not working anymore. And on a whim, I decided to get a brow wax right before my haircut.

Well. While the girl was waxing my eyebrows (and admonishing me to not pluck for two weeks before I come in the next time, something that is just never going to happen because I am way too obsessive about them), she was peering at me through that magnifying light circle thing, when she sort of nonchalantly said, "Have you ever considered getting your lip waxed?"

And I think I actually shrieked. What? Was she saying I had a MUSTACHE? What the hell? How could I have a MUSTACHE and not know it? I do put on makeup every day, for crying out loud, so it's not like I'm ignorant about my own face. Moreover, I like to think that there are plenty of people in my life who would, if necessary, pull me quietly into a corner and, you know, ask me if I ever noticed that I had a MUSTACHE, and no one ever had.

So I said no, I never considered it, but by all means, do it! Jesus! A mustache!

Well, let me tell you, it hurt like a mofo. I hardly have any feeling in my eyebrows anymore, so that area of ripping and tearing never bothers me, but she did two things sort of down the side of my mouth and a couple of things across the actual upper lip, and it felt like she was peeling off the entire epidermis.

And then, THEN she had the gall to knock my beloved Philosophy. "What kind of skin care products do you use?" So I told her, that I even use the moisturizer for sensitive skin, and she said, "Well, it's not working for you, your skin is all red." And I said, "Well, that's because you just POURED HOT WAX ALL OVER MY FACE AND THEN VIOLENTLY TORE IT OFF."

Or something like that. Anyway, she slathered some Vaseline-type product all over my bright red browline and my even brighter red general upper lip area and then sent me downstairs to get my hair cut.

Seriously, I want Luis to just follow me around all day because no one can make me feel better like he can. He came out to the waiting room to tell me that he was running a little bit late and then he saw the trauma and his eyes got wide and he gasped and said, "Oh honey! What happened?" "Waxed! I got waxed!" "Oh no! Do you want some ice or something?"

I told you he was fabulous. So we sat down for the consultation before I went off for the shampoo, and I asked him about bangs. He said that bangs were "very in vogue right now," but he was wary about doing them for me, because he doesn't like to change a person's hair too much because it can just be too much of a shock, and I was already asking to get like four inches cut off.

But then I told him about my forehead trauma. (I've been having forehead trauma. I don't know if you've noticed, but my forehead is freakishly large. Seriously. It is the Antarctica of foreheads. No, really.) And he said okay, he would just do a few "sexy pieces" and I could see how I liked them and if I wanted to I could come back and he'd give me more.

And I swear, I almost started to cry, because he was looking at my shiny red splotchy swollen face and yet he spoke of making my hair sexy.

Have I mentioned that he is the most fabulous hairdresser ever?

Anyway, there it is. I wouldn't exactly call the bangs sexy, nor the cut in general. I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet. But I want to go back and get new highlights before I go to JournalCon, so I know he'll fix it if I ask him. Luis can fix anything.

(Can you see all the lovely residual waxing redness? I actually took another picture after putting on some makeup, but then I didn't like my hair as much. Though I didn't have my cheeks waxed, that is just some bonus redness that happens to my face at the end of the day. And the red splotch on my chest, I have no idea what happened there. I don't have chest hair that has to be waxed too, I swear. Just a mustache. God.)

You may recall that a couple of entries ago, in the sidebar, I mentioned my new obsession, a Japanese anime character called Gloomy Bear. He eats children. I bought two of them on eBay. They arrived from Hong Kong faster than I ever expected, and they are so cool. Sick and utterly disturbing, but please, how cute are they?

There isn't a whole lot about them online (at least not in English), but I found the official site and just started randomly clicking links to see what I could find, which ended up being Gloomy Bears in action! Here is one having a little snack; here is one taking the word "smackdown" literally; and here's one who is perhaps practicing some primitive dentistry. (I don't know what this one is doing, but he may be crossing the line.)

So here are mine. I have a yellow one on the way as well, the bigger size. At first I didn't want a pink one because the blood doesn't show up as well, but he is sort of the official one, so I might have to get him and put him in charge of the rest.

...can't you see i'm relatively twisted?

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